where I am, so he is

I was standing at the end of the pier with the wind in my hair. I was going to have to go into the water, I knew I was, but it was full of chop and turmoil and I knew I would lose all my hard work when I did. Impossible to hold onto anything in that. And I’ve been working so hard to gather all the right ingredients and to hold them together in just the right way.

Buffalo Man came and stood just behind my left shoulder. His appearance surprised me, gave me a great jolt of hope. Maybe all would not be lost after all. “Will you cleave to me through all of this?” Such sweetness.

He turned his calm to face me.

It wasn’t like I thought. It was less and it was more. He waited for me to understand.

This wasn’t about choosing or declaring allegiance. This wasn’t about struggle or effort at all.

Where I am, so he is.

Simple as that.

It came over me like a sudden ability to breathe—

Realizing your heart’s desire doesn’t require striving,
it requires surrender.

“Hush,” he said. And we went into the river.


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